unothodox-life seeking mongrel

YAY.... BOOO

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:09:52 GMT

So many things I'm excited about!

FRIDAY 4 A.M.: Watchmen IMAX
Next week FRIDAY NOON: Our super intense road trip begins! Look at this shit. We're actually planning on skipping Charlotte, Houston, and Fort Stockton, but I'd still like to do something in the east/southeast coast other than Richmond. RECOMMENDATIONS? Is Charleston any good? Better than Wilmington? Should we go to Mobile, AL instead of Montgomery?
Next next week WEDNESDAY EVENING: SXSW. Weee. After that we're going to Juarez to see my parents and scare the shit out of my gringo friends, then we're flying back to New York.

This is gonna be pretty awesome, I must say.

Unrelated: just as I was starting to get excited about electrical engineering and such, my idea for a microcontroller-based project was REJECTED! This is what I emailed my professor, which is basically the best pitch ever because it starts with "Have you seen Never Say Never Again?":

Have you seen Never Say Never Again (the james bond movie)? Our other idea is basically the fake video game they play in the movie, Domination, except instead of taking over the world it'd be another (simpler) game like Battleship or just Pong. In case you haven't seen it, the main premise of the game is it shocks you whenever you lose. We realize there are 'shocking' controllers out there already, but our game would have to be played only by two players at the same time, face to face, making it more like a nerd fight club than just shocking yourself playing against a computer in your living room. The game would probably be more interesting if it was some sort of Pong or a 2-player Asteroids, where you can potentially get shocked *a lot*. The game ends when either player gets either too nervous or instinctively pushes away after the shock, and takes the hand off the metal plate that shocks him. So, besides the video game (and the controllers for the video game, probably knobs or joysticks), there would be some kind of sensor that detects whether the players' hands are on the shocking surface, and the shocking circuit and signal themselves. The shock would just be from batteries, so the players won't be directly hooked to the 120v wall outlet. Still have to figure out the details, but we think this could work.
...

His reply, paraphrased: We would have to get human experimentation approval and won't get it. I will not approve of this project.

Human experimentation? I get shocked when I touch my doorknob (heyooo) every day, am I really in DANGER? I'm just really disappointed that it was only after I transferred that I realized this school isn't a good fit for me. The engineering program is way theoretical (we only just got to do projects until this semester, my LAST ONE) and the fact that it's so research-focused makes everything very "practical." The very notion of "engineering for engineering's sake" is totally rejected, and a very conventional trade-school approach is expected both from faculty and students. I love useless shit and I always have, especially if it's technically challenging and interesting. I like doing this with absolutely no purpose other than my own or others' entertainment, is that really selfish? I mean, does wanting to make a useless video game instead of saving the world with the best solar powered water pump or some shit make me a shitty person? ~who cares~

Still alive

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 07:17:19 GMT

I just bought this book:

This purchase can be defined as "my last attempt at trying to understand what the fuck is going on in electronics, mere months away from receiving my electrical engineering degree." Unfortunately this semester I'll actually have to invent something, and the fact that I know nothing about circuits other than V=IR may or may not mean I'm fucked.

In other news, hey guys. What's up! Yaay!

Today

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 09:08:10 GMT

Phew.

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 05:12:01 GMT

THE JOB FRONT:
I didn't get the Citibank job. I don't really care. I got an interview with Google. They are taking me out to dinner. I am going to Chicago in two weeks. Things could be worse, I suppose.

THE LOVE FRONT:
I am going to New York in two weeks, two! I love New York, guys!

THE SCHOOL FRONT:
I thought I failed my probability exam but turns out I only got one question wrong. This is completely unprecedented. I feel like having people I know/friends in my classes has definitely helped me this semester... after 4 years of misery, I finally figure it out.

THE AWESOME FRONT:
Justin T. Cass wrote the greatest column ever written in the garbage-riddled Opinion section of the Daily Sun (ever since the sad departure of Andrew Webb, anyway). I will post it here for future reference, and for the enjoyment of all:

Lehmanfreude
September 25, 2008 - 12:00am

Guest Room | Justin Cass
The specter of failure in the global credit market, it isn’t a big deal. David Foster Wallace offing himself — that’s news. AIG doing the same just doesn’t strike a chord with me. The consensus from everyone sufficiently removed from the matter seems to be that fiscal elites in New York and Washington — including fellow Ivy Leaguers Ben Bernanke and Hank Paulson — will more or less get their shit in order. Really nothing for us Cornellians to be concerned about.

Maybe that’s blasé, but look no further than the response on The Daily Show — one of many remaining East Coast redoubts for aspiring Ivy League satirists and comics — for proof of how banal this entire matter is. What was their response to the Fall of 2008? Not Jon Stewart tearfully declaring the view of the Lehman Brothers skyscraper from his apartment is gone. Instead, a week of potshots at CEOs, Sarah Palin, and the media’s take.

As an English major, I suspect us liberal arts students who are temporarily glued to the stream of klaxon on the front page of the Times are actually slightly giddy over the idea that something consequential could actually be happening to our generation! Something besides that generational showdown against Muslims other generations expect us to fight, anyway. After all, no matter what happens to big biz, we’re fine. For the most part, we’re extremely talented and well-educated students of writing, music, architecture, visual arts, science, and all brands of critical and social theory. However, I’m sure the reaction is a tad different for our colleagues who long ago made the decision to study something completely useless like, say, “applied economics and management.”

God knows you tried. Take a few SAT prep courses, attend an Ivy League school, make something called “connections,” and end up with a prestigious high-paying job as a coke-addled I-banker at one of those indefatigable Wall Street firms with an officious name like “Merrill Lynch” or “Lehman Brothers.” What could go wrong, other than your alumni overspeculating and ultimately precipitating a global recession?

Alas, all that hard work has been for naught. Three giant financial firms have already folded this heady September. And with even that great populist John McCain vowing to cut retirement packages for bailed-out CEOs to a meager $400k (less than the President makes!), the situation looks bleak for you rugged Ivy individualists who as recently as last week seemed ready to stake out your millions in the free market.

So now what? Y’all is fucked is what. 60,000 fellow hotshots, most of whom boast Ivy pedigrees and thick resumes, are already on the street. Better bring a gun to your next interview. I almost feel bad for the scores of you who suffered summer internships at Lynch, et al., thinking maintaining a happy, hangover-hiding demeanor while doing grunt-work for superiors not much more savvier than you would one day pay off. Whoops! But don’t fret too much. I’m sure “Brewed Coffee for Equities Trader” will look great on that bank teller application.

Whither the would-be I-bankers? Some have suggested that law school applications will spike as fewer grads choose to pursue an M.B.A. That’s a decent lateral move for elite underachievers intent on maintaining a dignified vocation. I just hope it isn’t too intellectually straining for you kids. I personally don’t plan on going into law, but I hear there’s a lot of reading involved, and intertextual analysis might come in handy with your casework. You’ll need to do a bit of that oh-so-hard writing thing. (It wouldn’t hurt to know a little Latin, either.)

But why just aim for law? Medicine is also well-paying, you know. The clergy have historically enjoyed social prominence. And D.C.’s always looking for some well-educated young folks with no original ideas of their own.

And if all else fails, you can go on the dole. No shame in that. I think a twenty-something photographer hacking it out on unemployment in a shared studio apartment in the Bronx has a bit more dignity than the same fellow still living with his parents in Westchester while trolling for start-up cash.

But there’s no use worrying about you folk. As far as us liberal arts majors are concerned, you voluntarily consigned yourselves to lives of mediocrity years ago. We, meanwhile, are looking forward to our cultural and scientific pursuits. Everyone’s angry at the financiers, but the novelists and the biologists are just fine, thanks.

So shalom, you well-connected coke-swilling fratboys! And shalom you artists sniffing fair-trade coke in Washington Square. For once you legions begging for research grants or drinking nightly over blank notepads as you stack books by day at Borders can laugh off the suggestion that a linguistics major was a poor choice. And hey, if there is a Depression 2.0, maybe the new WPA will start shelling out cash for indigent bloggers, indie rockers, and DV filmmakers. Can you believe that genuine intellectual pursuits would actually pay off? Only in America!

It's like, "I guess this sort of applies to me, only not really! I suppose this means I can laugh about it!" Anyhow, I truly hope Justin is enjoying the deluge of hate mail he'll receive. Good man.

The Beatles are blasting through my roommate's door

Mon, 05 May 2008 06:42:17 GMT

As her mattress goes 'squeak squeak squeak squeak'

I mean, really? THE BEATLES? D:

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 02:01:20 GMT

I'm alone in my room, eating cold pizza, drinking a six pack of Dos Equis, doing homework. As much as I hate college, I plan on finally pulling my shit together and doing this for the rest of the semester to get excellent grades and land a green card job in New York. Then it can all safely go downhill again! LOOKING AHEAD! WISHES&DREAMS CAN COME TRUE!

Ithaca nightlife, you're dead to me.

DEEP.

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 07:15:06 GMT

A man walks out of his apartment,
It is raining, he's got no umbrella
He starts running beneath the awnings,
Trying to save his suit,
Trying to save his suit.
Trying to dry, and to dry, and to dry but no good

When he gets to the crowded subway platform,
He takes off both of his shoes
He steps right into somebody's fat loogie
And everyone who sees him says, "Ew."
Everyone who sees him says, "Ew."

But he doesn't care,
'Cause last night he got a visit from the
Ghost of Corporate Future
The ghost said, "Take off both your shoes
Whatever chances you get
Especially when they're wet."

He also said,
"Imagine you go away
On a business trip one day
And when you come back home,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan."

"And people make you nervous
You'd think the world is ending,
And everybody's features have somehow started blending
And everything is plastic,
And everyone's sarcastic,
And all your food is frozen,
It needs to be defrosted."

"You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now.
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now."

"Well maybe you should just drink a lot less coffee,
And never ever watch the ten o'clock news,
Maybe you should kiss someone nice,
Or lick a rock,
Or both."

"Maybe you should cut your own hair
'Cause that can be so funny
It doesn't cost any money
And it always grows back
Hair grows even after you're dead"

"And people are just people,
They shouldn't make you nervous.
The world is everlasting,
It's coming and it's going.
If you don't toss your plastic,
The streets won't be so plastic.
And if you kiss somebody,
Then both of you'll get practice."

"The world is everlasting
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
And take off both your shoes.
'Cause people are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you.
People are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you."

The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
It's coming and it's going

This is a post with meaningless lyrics. Meaningless, because the Ghost of Corporate Future came to visit me and showed me nothing but riches and a world surrounded by bachelors and cats.

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 21:04:05 GMT

New Year's Eve in Williamsburg!

- Firing up fireworks at neighbors, friends with bats
- Jumping over fireworks on a trampoline on the street and rooftops
- Fire extinguishers going off for no reason
- Fake countdowns
- Yule logs
- Shots of absinthe
- Throwing bottles
- Etc, etc.

I moved out of my apartment yesterday and am currently homeless. I'm going to miss this place. Brooklyn, you rule.

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 00:19:18 GMT

I just bought a pair of Grado SR60 headphones, and I'm just gonna go ahead and state the obvious by saying my mind has been blown over and over again. As a matter of fact, it's being blown as I type this. Permanently blown. Everyone buy these motherfuckers RIGHT NOW. Okay, maybe tomorrow. They're worth every penny, and more! Additionally, they're made in Brooklyn... yay!

I'm listening to For Reverend Green because I'm trying to pretend I'm experiencing it live, since I failed to do so yesterday at what quite possibly was the shittest show I've ever been to in New York (El Paso shows obviously don't count). Fireworks was suddenly interrupted due to "bassyness" and Avey being "destroyed," which would have been fine and dandy if it weren't for his decision to abruptly end the entire thing by saying "this is our last song," leaving, and not coming back for an encore in spite of a sold-out audience cheering for what appeared to be the longest 15 minutes in the dark. Fuckin' Avey Tare. Too bad he's a genius, otherwise I'd totally hate his guts... as opposed to hating them just a little.

GETTING THE FOLLOWING OUT OF THE WAY: Panda Bear is a cutie, aw.

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 17:57:16 GMT

Don't you hate it when you're eating something, and then you discover a worm shaking nervously within the part you haven't eaten yet?

I don't. It's awesome. I wish it happened all the time.

edit - How about two worms? Jesus. I need to stop eating shit. Literally.

New York (City)

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 02:55:56 GMT

I am very sorry for neglecting this internet channel, but I have been busy lately kicking asses at dinky warehouses and walking unnecessarily fast to the PATH train that takes me and other fellow productive members of society to Jersey. Because that's where I work, apparently, which is pretty sucky-- but hey! We have a kickass view of Manhattan! And we're the tallest building in the ENTIRE state of New Jersey! It's a weird commute since it seems like I'm going the wrong way judging by the masses walking in my opposite direction, but I absolutely refuse to live in Jersey or anything that even remotely reminds me of the hellish town that was Troy, Michigan.

Friends from all over the place came to visit this weekend, and as a result I ended up with a sore neck after stretching it for hours, trying to see even a hint of Deerhunter and Battles behind the masses of freakishly tall people, sore feet and destroyed blouse and shoes from the madness that was Mika Miko, partially drunk and subsequently hung-over thanks to several $3 terrible drinks, and even more sore and annoyed from giving my New York Walking Tour for what appears to be the millionth time.

As for work, once again I'm working on a project in which I have no idea what the hell is going on, but at least I'm more confident about learning new shit now, and I feel more comfortable talking to "grown-ups," "grabbing some lunch," and attending "meetings" than I did last year. Oh how have I grown!

FB

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 17:34:15 GMT

Patrick Wolf has accepted your friend request. 10:42am

Man, I'm so cool.

My friend the spider died

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 21:18:53 GMT

I downloaded a new browser (not really new, but new for my computer) since Firefox kept crashing and being an annoying little knucklehead. I have been "testing" it all morning, and noticed that every single one of my 'tests' had to do with stalking semi-celebrities online.

And thus, in part also inspired by thatgreenplant's "Top Ten [Indie?] Rocker Crushes," my list was born.

TOP TEN [INDIE?] ROCKER CRUSHES

Except they're more "People Who Are Geniuses and I Can't Seem to Get Over Their Talent, Especially Seeing How I Am A Talentless Hack" than actual crushes, but the title's catchier as is.

10. Mike Patton - A Lot Of Bands.

Best singer alive, hands down.

9. Ed Droste - Grizzly Bear.

"Ed Droste's nose: The new Eddie Argos's moustache?"

And, well, not only does his music rock, but he apparently hangs out with the coolest people on the face of the Earth. Evidence:

one:

two:

three:

and he posted this on his blog:

Shot at 2007-08-02

Hey Ed, let's be friends. No? Okay.

8. Noah Lennox/Panda Bear & David Portner/Avey Tare - Animal Collective.

The voice, the voice.

7. Brian Teasley/Birdstuff and Brian Causey/Coco the Electronic [Monkey Wizard] - Man or Astro-man?.
That period had to be there. It's only appropriate.
Birdstuff //

Coco //

Man or Astro-man? really know how to end a show, during the last song Coco wheeled out this tall, homemade Tesla coil, and stalked about the stage like a cartoon mad scientist as he plugged it in, creating a cool spectacle, as Birdstuff disassembled his entire drumset and tossed into the crowd whilst the band continued to play. Definitely a sight to be seen, this giant Tesla coil buzzing its blue lightning zaps as all these drum pieces go surfing above the crowd, and the entire band falling about the stage. It was pure Astro-magic.

6. Andrew Bird.
Violins!

Dr. Stringz.

MAD VIOLIN SKILLS! Plus whistling skills.

5. Annie Clark - St. Vincent.

Take your shoes off before watching this video, because it's gonna blow your fucking socks right through them.

This is the only female in this list, because girls usually suck at music. I mean, we do. But Annie doesn't, and she has the coolest shoes.

4. Colin Meloy - Decemberists.
He looks even better in black and white.

Only the best story-teller/singer in the history of the universe. Err.. the twenty-first century?

3. Zach Condon - Beirut.
I'm basically reposting these, because I want to look at them. Forever.

I'm telling you. All these cool people singing each other's songs, it's killin' me.

He's from Albuquerque, yay! Southwest! Every single time anyone asks me anything about Beirut, I have to say "he wrote this when he was 19, you know?" And then everyone just feels bad about themselves.

2. Jamie Stewart - Xiu Xiu.

Xiu Xiu has been my favorite band for years. I met David because of them, we both have a gay/straight crush on him yeaaaahhh.

1. Owen Pallett - Final Fantasy.

From the University of Toronto website. Because he's a real musician. OMG!

Yeah. I took this video. Whatever.

I mean, I don't think I even have to say anything. Him waving back and smiling when I said hi was the best thing that has ever happened to me. In my life. Ever. Since 1986. Watching him play makes me so happy, I want to cry. This is also because I am a girl. Girls cry. Bonus points+++ for being an amusing asshole during [most] interviews.

1. Patrick Wolf.

Rocking the theremin.

The Railway House always gives me the chills. It does. It really does.

Yeah, well, who didn't see this coming. And yes, there was a tie in number one. Because I have [rather sadly] been thinking about this whole Owen-Patrick debate for months and can't seem to be able to make up my mind. In any case... Patrick Wolf pre-red-hair era is #1, above and beyond, but the current Burberry-modeling and sparkle-spreading situation has made this a tie. So there. And well, you might say I'm being a "HE SOLD OUT" douche, but really, no. The reason I like Patrick Wolf is because Wind in the Wires and Lycanthropy are paradoxically (hadn't used that word since Decadence) dark, depressing, and beautiful at the same time. The Railway House and Penzance are ghostly tales of demons and reclusion that somehow give me hope and make me smile. And make me write like an ass. So, hey, guys, Patrick Wolf is pretty awesome, give it a spin.

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 08:05:09 GMT

Can't
stop
listening
to
bluegrass

(on a thursday at 4 am)

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 17:19:50 GMT

PROBLEM 3

---------

- Your code passed all of our test cases. Good work!!

PROBLEM 4

---------

- Implementation of the splay operation seems to be generally

in the right direction, but it produces the wrong tree in

7 out of 8 of our test cases.

And this is what happens when you (the maker, creator, lord of problem 3) get lazy and decide to hand over part of the project to your partner (destroyer, ruiner, defacer of problem 4).

In any case, my habit of not doing any school work (to sit around watching youtube videos instead) is over, as I see myself in danger of failing one of my favorite classes. What a shame.

But still, hey guys, how about that Harry Potter? It's over. I've got nothing to look forward to. Except perhaps the movies?! And Harrison Ford's old, sexy self jumping around caves.

Okay, okay, so Harrison Ford is a distraction, trying to divert me from thinking about the fact that I cried no less than ten times throughout this damned book. I mean, DOBBY?!

Greenpoint, USA

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 16:12:56 GMT

After two trips to the city and two [empty] pool parties in one week and a half, I finally succeeded in finding a place to live in next fall. I was a bit (very) disappointed after my first trip, when I encountered a 40-year-old man living in da ghetto with no functional L train and a married couple with a baby as potential roommates. Fortunately, Man Man and the slip 'n slide made up for it-- also free alcohol in the VIP area! (We jumped over some fence while looking for an ice cream stand, found whiskey instead.)

I must say I pretty much chose that apartment because of the people who live in it, since it's quite inconveniently located as I'll have to take 3 trains to get to work, but seriously! They even have a turtle! And hip bikes!

So now I'm a bit less scared of living in the [relatively] unknown. yeeeeeeeeahh!

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 20:08:51 GMT

WHAT.

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 07:10:21 GMT

I saw Transformers. Conclusion?

Dude, that new Camaro is pretty cool.

I mean, is it even real? GM: mission accomplished.

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 04:11:41 GMT

BLAAAAAARGH.

I've been in the storm (so looong)

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 15:16:18 GMT

I spent the night alone in an unknown house during a storm. I'm so brave!

I guess I wasn't technically alone, since there was a cat. But he gave me allergies and I agonized for hours, so he doesn't count. Ha! Take that!

Nothing new on any other front. I like having a whole house for myself, I guess... and a car, but I haven't really used that yet except for going back and forth to my apartment, but soon there'll be trips to Wegman's! Exciting!!

Every single one of my paragraphs will end with exclamation marks. Yes!!

PS. I just voted for Halifax over Ben Kweller, The Fratellis, and The National for a free Cornell concert poll, only because they have this really hard and fun song on Guitar Hero. I think.

PS2. Actually, I think they don't. Sucks.

Paris gets out of jail free, maybe even collects $200

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 16:15:46 GMT

NOTE TO SELF

Owen from Final Fantasy
I've Got the Power
*****
member is offline

Joined: Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 141
Location: Toronto

[blah blah]
This weekend we're finally mixing the "Hey Dad/What Do You Think Will Happen Next?" 7-inch. There's a lot of celeste on it, and a beautiful old Lowrey organ. And Beirut helped. Kelly, Tracey, Perrin, Zach, Jon, Paul and Nick all play on it.
[blah blah]

ADORABLE TIMES A ~~HUNDRED~~MILLION?! Sure, it's pretty old, but I was reminded of it and the thought of him typing got me excited. Creepy! Still, TORONTO JULY 1ST!

Seriously though, how annoying have I been lately? I don't think I've been this obsessed with anything (anyone) ever since Weezer (Patrick Wolf is included in Current Obsessions for practical purposes), and that was when I was 14 years old. This plus the fact that I'm apparently attending two Harry Potter parties is starting to worry me. Except I'm not really worried.

Canada, Cana-daddy-doody-da!

CELEBRITY DISAPPOINTMENTS!!

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 17:04:55 GMT

"I'm writing my fourth record right now and I just finished all the demos...it's quite a political record and a lot to do with my reaction to America during my recent tour," he said.

[...]

"But I'm starting to feel like there are no Joni Mitchells in our generation. There are no Bob Dylans. There's no one speaking about things in an articulate, artistic human way. I kind of feel it's my duty."

Plus PerezHilton.com's

""I know I'm new and most of you have never heard of me before," [Courtney] Love joked to the crowd, which included Brett Ratner, David LaChappelle and Brit boy cutie Patrick Wolf.

I can't wait to NOT hear Patrick Wolf's new album.

1000 square foot Artist Loft for rent (Williamsburg)

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 16:57:32 GMT

St. Vincent, is playing her own headlining show at Bowery Ballroom in NYC on July 17th.

FUCK. I hate not being in New York (City). For the millionth time. But I really do. I'm considering not going to the Decemberists/Grizzly Bear/Land of Talk show because I decided to finally be one hundred percent committed to school after my disastrous math C- (a terrible milestone), and I have two classes that day. And it's July 16th. But maybe I'll be ninety eight percent committed to school and miss two days, which are the rough equivalent to two weeks of regular non-summer session class, but I can take my laptop and do homework, and, uh, yeah, goddammit.

TEEN RANTS!

I am apparently very good at economics, which more or less means I ask a lot of insightful (annoying) questions and say SUPPLY and DEMAND a lot while the other five girls in the class are falling asleep. (There are six people in the class. We are all girls. Wee.) Except for the one token Asian girl who also also asks a lot of questions, but they are repetitive and prelim oriented. (How many multiple choice questions will there be? Can we get sample True/False questions? How long do our short essay answers have to be? How terrible is my accent from 1 to A MILLION? [Says the Mexican who can't pronounce half the Word Worm cards in Cranium.]) Once again I felt very pleased with myself when the professor asked what my major was and if I was interested in taking any other economics classes beyond macro, just like the one time my English professor said I was a very good writer. And then I remembered the fact that I'm a failure and how I started to re-read the Half-Blood Prince and simply could not identify with Hermione anymore. Yeah, now I'm, Ron, or something. Despair.

At least I excel at babysitting. Who would've thought? I concluded that, even though I hate kids, I'm sort of a kid minus annoying minus stupid. Meaning I can have hours-long conversations on video games, Disneyland, Harry Potter, and cartoons without screaming or pooping my pants. Still, since the kids will be away for most of the rest of the summer, I'm looking into getting a job with the Geek Squad, because I like those cute ties and Volkswagens. I like them so much I'm willing to officially become a WETBACK (ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT guys) to get on it. I really just hate on-campus jobs, and judging by my previous experiences, I don't have much incentive to get another one. (Heads up guys, working off-campus in a non-internship/co-op environment is a big INS/Homeland Security no-no for me.) The risk! The adventure! The imminent deportation!

Summmmmmer

Thu, 31 May 2007 02:01:03 GMT

So I'm back at the ABC Café for some reason, and another set of people is behind the counter now. Notice how I said 'people' instead of 'hippies', meaning I now feel guilty because they're so nice and I'm an evil meat-eater who fantasizes about blood dripping down her chin. Gross?!

Last week's New York City trip was fun! Of course. NYC trips are always fun. But this time was better because I wasn't pathetically alone as Cynthia and Dani came all the way from Juarez and had a jolly good summer time. I went to the Natural History museum for the fourth time and somehow managed to enjoy the evolution and sea life videos even more. Maybe because we skipped the African and Asian peoples and went straight to the dinosaurs. Isn't that what you're supposed to do anyway?

Coney Islaaaaand! Fun fun fun among broken-shards-of-glass-and-sand beaches! Also freezing water, shooting freaks, hot hipsters wearing marching band hats, and expensive chili cheese dogs.

We also had good drunken times with a pair of Scottish lads who came to the city to exchange their shite guitars for brand new ones. Their first appearance at our hostel room was at 5 a.m., when one of them stumbled next to me in my bed, and jumped out after realizing there was someone else already there. He left something next to my pillow, which I found out to be a dozen daisies the next morning. When I tried to get out of my bed, I stepped on him as he was sleeping on the floor, holding an unopened Samuel Adams while half-sporting a tweed hat and a velour coat. The other one was lying on his bed, wearing nothing but briefs. When we came back that evening, we found the flowers in a Coke bottle vase with water next to the window. Now that's Scotland.

Then they left and a really attractive yet creepy French dude took over. The creepy kind that stares at you from his top bunk bed while you sleep? That one.

The kids I'm babysitting are awesome, the house I'm housesitting is great, the cat I'm catsitting is fabulous, I'll get paid to drive a car for a month, and I'm writing software for a George Foreman grill. A sophisticated (and probably unnecessarily technologically advanced) George Foreman grill. I LURVE NY (state)!

They didn't even have plain bagels.

Wed, 30 May 2007 17:33:39 GMT

I just spent my entire daily food budget on a toasted bagel with cream cheese and a vanilla milkshake ($6.48... the bastards). Not only did I spend it all, but I also exceeded it by $1.48. This is enough to describe the desperate situation I'm currently in, which isn't too bad considering the fact that I'll probably lose weight. Hell yes.

Coming back to the $6.48 issue, I don't even know why I'm here. This place is evidently expensive, and, as if this wasn't enough, there's a ridiculous hippie spewing bullshit all over the place sitting behind me, another hippie behind the counter, on the other side of the wall, HIPPIES FUCKING EVERYWHERE. If I had enough money (which I of course don't), I'd go across the street, buy a juicy medium rare steak, return, and gobble it all up with blood dripping down my chin. My embracing of this disgusting act describes how much I hate hippies.

The dictionary tells you all the words you can use! Like, the time I learned the meaning of whelming. I looked it up and there you go! The dictionary, man. I'm telling you. And, ohh! Excellent recommendation, man, this falafel sandwich is DE-LI-CIOUS!

No. It's not.